Kim Akass, "Throwing the Baby Out with the Bath Water: Miranda and the Myth of Maternal Instinct on Sex and the City" (page 2 of 3)
In addition to exposing the realities of pregnancy, Sex and the
City reworks existing representations of new motherhood apart from
glowing Madonna-and-child imagery. Throughout season 5, Miranda
struggles with the trauma of being a new mother surrounded by single
childless women who seem patently unqualified to guide her through this
particular maze. In "Anchors Away" (episode 67), Samantha (Kim Cattrall)
bundles Miranda and baby Brady into a cab with indecent haste so that
the child-free friends can go shopping. Carrie's spontaneous visit to
Miranda finds her friend unable to breastfeed or concentrate on their
conversation. The sight of Miranda's veiny milk-filled breasts fills
Carrie with horror and, taking her leave abruptly, she kisses Miranda on
the head and tells her, "Miranda, you're a mother, but it's OK, I won't
tell anyone." This phrase, although offered with love, widens the newly
formed gulf between the two friends, identifying Miranda's
transformation from one of the girls to a mother. Considering how
ambivalent all four women have been about marriage and motherhood, it is
no reassurance to Miranda when Carrie tells her that nothing will affect
their friendship and that she is still one of them.
"Critical Condition" (episode 72) exposes Miranda's exhaustion with
Brady's constant crying, and, telling her friends that she has not slept
for days, she rants: "If he was 35, this is when we would break up! This
13-pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge. I feel disgusting." Her
three friends are no help and, with Magda looking on disapprovingly,
Miranda's story is a classic example of how isolating new motherhood can
be. After a neighbor complains about Brady's crying, Miranda feels
excluded from the community of mothers and clearly suffers from the
thought of "being judged by the toughest critics out there: other
mothers" (Douglas and Michaels 19). It is only the intervention of a
neighbor that gives voice to the problem that has, so far, remained
unspoken. Offering Miranda an oscillating chair for Brady, Kendall
learns that Miranda has only childless friends and tells her, "Well then
you're screwed. If they don't have kids, they don't have a clue." While
such moments can seem to undermine the show's commitment to respecting
single, child-free women's lives by depicting them as clueless, they
also cut in the opposite direction, reminding us that child care is,
like gender and romance, a matter of effective props rather than natural
instinct. Obviously it is practical help with mothering that Miranda
needs and the only way to tap into this discourse is through other
mothers. Douglas and Meredith assert that "motherhood is a
collective experience" (25), and, despite the media's emphasis on the
individual achievements and failures of mothers, Kendall's words of
reassurance—"Miranda, you're not a bad mother. You just didn't
have the chair"—reveal the truth behind the fiction.
Miranda may have stopped Brady from crying and is gradually getting a
handle on life again, but there remain two last bastions to be stormed
by the single mother: sex and work. Neglecting to tell an old flame that
she has become a mother, Miranda explains, "I just didn't want it to
change anything" ("Plus One Is the Loneliest Number," episode 71).
Painfully aware of the constraints that motherhood puts on her single
life, Miranda takes her date home and, giving a whole new meaning to the
phrase "mummy's coming," finally accepts her new role and the attendant
responsibilities. After a female colleague formally complains about
Miranda's lack of punctuality since giving birth to Brady, thereby
exposing the myth of sisterhood in the workplace, Miranda eventually
decides that she has to cut her working week to around 50 or 55 hours
max if she is to survive parenthood ("Hop, Skip and a Week,"
episode 80). Miranda's narrative demonstrates not only ambivalence
toward motherhood but also the difficulties of adjusting to this new
life in a social context that continues to make mothering a
contradiction with sex and work culture—a reality routinely
ignored by the media.
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