This aspect of the dance seems a reminder to stay grounded despite challenges and confrontations. Impressively, even the youngest girls know how to hold their own space.
When a girl fails to defend herself and is kissed, the drummers toss their drums down, ending the dance and sending the pair out of the circle. If two men enter the circle to dance at the same time, the drums are tossed in, the music stops, and the elders demand order.
I am struck by this dance, and its sensuality. Even the youngest girls can flowingly move their bodies. With age the dance gathers rhythm, flavor, movement, but even the tiniest of girls still knows how to push the boys away. They know how to protect their own space.
While I wonder what the boys learn from this game that encourages them to be sneaky with their kisses, I love that these girls are taught, at such a young age, that their bodies are their own. They are taught to set boundaries and defend them. They are permitted to be sensual and beautiful, and to move to the rhythm of the drums. They are not taught to infer that sensuality, beauty, or free movement through this world are provocations to violence.
The dance subtly communicates messages that would provide a great foundation for outreach and education on sexual violence. These cultural messages include: 1) No one has a right to overstep your boundaries; 2) Dancing is not an invitation for aggression; 3) This circle (community) does not tolerate aggression or a group of men approaching one young girl; 4) The community has the responsibility to be outraged when boundaries are broken.
I love the rule that assures that the party, music and all, must stop when a young girl’s or woman’s boundaries are broken. It transmits quiet recognition that sexual violence has consequences not just for individual survivors, but also for the community as a whole.
