Clarissa's Disappointment: An Excerpt
Synopsis: Clarissa's Disappointment begins when
Clarissa Pettaway and her mother pick up their father from prison.
Although he has been away for five years, he is finally returning home,
and Clarissa couldn't be happier. While the family is loving, and Mr.
Pettaway tries to do the right thing, reentry is hard for everybody.
Unable to find a job, Mr. Pettaway begins to drink, and after an
argument with Mrs. Pettaway, he moves in with his parents. Clarissa is
confused and disappointed; for years she has dreamt of her father's
homecoming, and now again he leaves. Smart and proud, Clarissa tries to
be brave. She and her mother resume their routines, and Clarissa sees
her father every weekend. Yet, she cannot help but feel sad and even
angry. Although she has always done well in school, a particularly
irritating classmate starts to bother Clarissa. When Clarissa's anger
rises to the surface, her teacher, principal, and mother meet.
Possible uses: Clarissa's Disappointment can be read by
all children, though it is particularly geared toward 8-12 year olds. It
would be appropriate for a school library, a family's home, or a
counselor or minister's office. Reading the book may help children
better understand how difficult the reentry process is for families, and
it will reassure them that they are not alone. The book ends with
Clarissa's family attending a community group for families of the
incarcerated. While it is not clear if Clarissa's parents will 'get back
together,' it is clear that as a family, they will always do what's best
for Clarissa. Finally, when Clarissa is encouraged first by her teacher
and then by a mentor at the community program to write in her diary, she
is demonstrating how the act of writing can help clarify one's
feelings.
Excerpts from four chapters of Clarissa's Disappointment follow.
Chapter Nine: The Fight
Mamma and I continue with our new routines, and I almost believe it
isn't my fault that Dad moved out. Almost. School has gotten better too.
I try to stay away from Nora, and Chantel and I and a new girl named Sui
Wee have become friends. We don't visit each other's apartments like
some girls do, but we are together almost all the time in school.
Sometimes, during recess, we take our books outside and read, but today
we are playing Double Dutch in the corner of the schoolyard. It is my
turn, so I am jumping and counting when Nora and her crowd come over. I
say crowd, but it's really just Nora and Jasmine and Sonya.
"No reading today, girls?" Nora asks, and Jasmine and Sonya
laugh.
I keep counting, and since Chantel is quiet with most people, she
doesn't say anything. Sui Wee is still pretty new and doesn't know that
Nora is a pain-in-the-neck, so she answers.
"No read today. We want change," Sui Wee says. She and her parents
just moved to the United States, and Sui Wee is still learning
English.
Nora, Jasmine and Sonya laugh at her.
"I think you mean that you are not reading today because you want
a change," Nora says like she knows everything.
Sui Wee blushes, and I can tell Chantel feels bad for her. I do too.
I loose my concentration and miss a jump, and that is all Nora
needs.
"You missed, Clarissa. Too bad you can't fly like your Dad. Did you
guys know that Clarissa's Dad is a jailbird?" Nora says to Jasmine and
Sonya.
Sui Wee and Chantel stop turning the jump rope. I don't think Sui Wee
knows what the word means, and I don't think Chantel cares, but I am
still mad at Nora for saying it.
"Yes, Clarissa's Dad was in jail," Nora says. "He's out now, but my
Daddy says 'once a jailbird, always a jailbird'."
I want to say something, but I am having trouble thinking. In fact,
I'm not thinking; I'm just feeling, and what I'm feeling is anger. I
feel my anger like it's an actual thing that moves out of my stomach,
into my throat, and thru my hands. I jump out of the rope and push Nora
with all my strength. She falls backwards onto the grass. For what seems
like a little while but must only be a second, nobody says anything, and
then Nora starts to cry. Chantel takes two steps to stop me from doing
anything else, but I have already stopped myself. Seeing Nora fall
backwards makes me stop, and it is like whatever flew out of my stomach
and into my hands somehow gets bottled up and put back inside me. I feel
jittery and hot, but I don't want to hurt Nora again.
Nora screams and begins to run, and Jasmine and Sonya go after her.
The teacher on recess duty tells us to go straight to the principal's
office. Nora cries the whole way, and Jasmine and Sonya say it is my
fault.
Mrs. Nigel isn't in her office when we arrive, so we sit on a hard
bench to wait. We are all quiet now, except for Nora, who cries and asks
Sonya to be sure there is no blood on the back of her head. There
isn't.
When Mrs. Nigel finally arrives, she looks surprised to see me.
"Well let's try to resolve this, shall we?" Mrs. Nigel says and calls
us into her office. Nora and Jasmine and Sonya speak first, and tell the
story, except they leave out what Nora called my Dad.
"Of course it is never appropriate to push someone down, but I wonder
what made Clarissa do that?" Mrs. Nigel says aloud and turns toward
me.
I know I should speak, but I can't seem to get the words out of my
mouth. I'm embarrassed and angry, angry with myself this time. Chantel
speaks, and I am surprised, because she is quiet with everyone,
especially grown-ups.
"Nora called Clarissa's father a jailbird, and I don't think it's
true, but even if it is, what business is it of Nora's? And anyway, it
would have nothing to do with Clarissa," Chantel says it all quickly,
like the words fell out of her mouth before she had time to catch them.
Just then, I feel happy she and Sui Wee are my friends.
"Is that correct? Did you use that word?" Mrs. Nigel asks Nora.
"It is true that Clarissa's Daddy is a jailbird. My Daddy told
me," Nora says, and by now she has stopped crying.
Mrs. Nigel is quiet for a minute, and then she says, "I think
Chantel's right: Whatever a parent does has nothing to do with his
child. In any event, I'm afraid that you girls all have detention
tomorrow, and Nora and Clarissa I'll see you again later. You may all go
back to your classroom now."
I apologize to Chantel and Sui Wee for getting them in trouble. Sui
Wee doesn't know what detention is, so Chantel explains it to her. She
doesn't seem too upset, but I apologize again anyway.
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