Venezia Michalsen, "Love is Not Enough: Mothering and Desistance After Incarceration"
(page 3 of 5)

In order to reunify with children within the foster care system, parents must secure housing adequate for all anticipated residents. Some women talked about the ways in which their housing situations barred them from working towards other goals, such as reunification. Permanent housing also seemed to represent a level of independence that was desirable to some of the women interviewed:

Alice: The thought of selling drugs came to my mind because I need fast money, 'cause I want my own place, and that's, and the fast money is in drugs, and I know where to sell it at . . .. I am interested in stopping [criminal behavior], but I'm more interested in my own place, and people stop telling me about my drugs, and the shelter, and tell me where I can get an apartment at, I might come out better, because the drugs, a drug program's not going to be the move . . .. It's not what I want . . .. I look at people who got places, don't even care about it. Look at people who got apartments, and don't even want them (crying heavily), and I want one so bad, I can taste it, and I can't get one. I look around me and people got places, don't even stay there. They don't even care about it. I go, I go to Fort Greene [Brooklyn], all those empty apartments, all them crack apartments, they ain't even care, but they got apartments. (long pause). All I want is my own apartment. (long pause). That's all I want, all I want, I don't want nothing else. (long pause, breathing heavily, sniffling). I'd rather ride the train every day before I stay at the shelter, I want my own apartment.

Housing, however, was not the only practical problem facing the women as they worked to reestablish their lives after incarceration, and potentially reunify with their children. Earning enough money in an expensive city like New York was also a concern:

Karen: One, yeah, [I live in] a one bedroom [apartment], yeah, uh huh, yeah, I pay the utilities too, that's, that's what's killing me, and that's what I was talking to my, uh, worker about, because you know, when I got the apartment they told, I thought the utilities was included, you know, and then when I got there I found out I had to come up with my electricity, you know, and gas and all that stuff, it's like my, it's like, it comes to like almost $500 a month, and, and, and that takes, all, all, all, all my [disability benefit]! Because behind that I have, I have to pay, I have to get my, um, my card, MetroCard [subway fare] for the month, you know, when, when whenever I can afford it, and sometimes I can't afford to get it. I have to get my hair done, I have to get my laundry done, and I love the, you know, the toiletries and other things, you know, you know, it's not, clothes, like I don't even have enough! It's not enough at all! I tell them it's not enough, you know, you know, it's that, what, what am I to do?

Some women talked about their dissatisfaction with public assistance or disability earnings. For those without jobs, finding a job was perceived as difficult, and others spoke about jobs that do not pay a living wage, particularly for women with children to support:

Pamela: I'm finding it so hard now, man. I'm finding it very hard, and, I'm, I gotta, I'm living for living wages from New York, right? I'm running a rally for one of those things, right, so I can't take no fucking McDonald's job with four kids, is you fucking crazy?! I be working just to go to fucking work. That's, that's, that's backwards thinking. Living wages for New York right now in the year 2006 should be $15 . . . If you making that type of money, you working $15,000 twice, two different types of job to pay a $30,000 salary, and actually, you're not making the $30,000 salary, because you have to pay taxes, that you busting your ass for two different types of jobs!

Beyond the core issues of housing and employment, women also expressed frustration with re-acclimating to a public transportation system, embarrassment by one's criminal record emerging in unexpected places, such as the DMV, coping with domestic violence, and maintaining sobriety. The widespread frustration with the difficulties of successfully reestablishing oneself upon reentry indicates that reunification might often be contraindicated for women in troubled housing, economic, and interpersonal situations. Women in these difficult situations therefore might not seek to reunify because of their love for their children, but will still take time to be with them.

Of the women who reported that they do not see their children in an average week, many said that they had lost track of their children over time. Some of these women reported that they were just too emotional about having contact with children for whom they had lost custody or parental rights. Despite the fact that visits were both their only contact with their children and were also a concrete way to work towards reunification, these respondents said that the pain of contact was too much for them:

Ruth: Oh, ok, yeah, so I'm trying to find housing and, um, I'm hoping and I'm praying that, you know, that the system will release the children to me.

Interviewer: Where are they now?

Ruth: They're, well, actually, I don't know where they're at, you know, cause I had stopped the visits because it was hurting me too much, so I, I can't even go visit them, so, um . . ..

While women were not specifically asked about the ways in which child welfare (known as the Administration for Children's Services [ACS] in New York City) became involved in the lives of their children, a number of women reported that they had invited ACS or other caretakers into their lives because they realized that their substance abuse and criminal behavior were interfering with their abilities to mother.

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